CRIMINAL MIND

Yeah I could do it, I’ve got nothing to lose. Imagine the power that would come from it! I mean what have I got to lose when I don’t care?! Getting caught? Ha-ha! I can’t believe a part of me still thinks of that! I’m too skilled, never in a hurry, I never act on impulse and I take time to plan it all, see?! How can I get caught? It’s never going to happen.

They’ll never know, they’ll never feel the power that comes from creating chaos and watching it unfold. I know it! I savour it! Seeing everyone trying to figure out what happened and trying to fix the mess I singlehandedly created, it’s like being the only one with the solution to a puzzle, I could settle it in a flash, there’s no feeling above that. I feel power, pure pleasure! Like a chess master giving his underling every reason to be uneasy and alert I keep them busy and put that expression on them.

Playing god, no, being god! I’d describe the feeling as crazy high, knowing you are responsible for every thought, emotion and confusion they feel at that moment should be most satisfying but then something is missing… I feel it, it stops the satisfaction from being complete, I mean how could they try to give someone else my glory, I should get the credit! I’m the invisible one, the one that single-handedly planned it all. Why should they give it to someone that isn’t me?! He’s not the god! He’s not the smart one and no one can make a better plan! But then I’d just let them keep guessing for now, they think they are smart. I’d make it part of the game; the invisibility, the control that could come from me alone. The game master, I alone can unravel the truth, what they call a mystery.

I could do it!  I’ve been doing it! I would do it! And if I ever run out of my crazy high they can’t take back the satisfaction I felt, what more could they do to someone who has nothing to lose?! But then I trust my criminal mind to never let my crazy high go, it would do everything to make sure it never happens. So I’d just keep going till the day that this god is ready to reveal himself.

Just like the chess master I control the board but unlike him I control the real board, I control him too. I control it all but only one thing controls me, I call it my criminal mind, my criminal mind controls the game, my game.

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10 comments

  1. I liked the beginning, it was captivating but it got boring at some point. I had to force myself to read all the way through. Great way with words by the way…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. its mostly to say you have no power over people, but you have power over your reactions. You live in your world and if you are a master in your own life. It seems you are controlling everything on the outside, even you are not.(just controlling the inside)

    Liked by 1 person

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