I finally crossed that hurdle, I finally found peace, I finally found out that as long as you keep fighting victory comes at last but in the midst of the boundless joy I keep hearing something deep down in my head, it is “what next?”
I got used to the fight, I got used to the lifestyle, I got used to having to push and staying away from everything that didn’t lead to my goal. I could go days without thinking about anything else but how to fix that part of my life that was breaking down. It was the excuse and reason I paused my life, it became my life…fighting to get my pride back, what could be more important? It was the excuse for everything I didn’t want to indulge in, it kept me on the right track.
Conquering it became all I was about but now that it is over, does the fight end? What next do I fight for? What would keep me on track? What would my life be built around? What would be the distraction and focus when things out of my control try to bring me down? …the questions that little voice keeps asking, though important and true, it is only fear all over and it is for the moment because a little silent meditation answers it all. If I have learnt anything from this hurdle is to breathe and live and to believe that there is strength within to match whatever falls in your path. Challenges don’t just come to destroy us but to make us who we ought to be.
So, what next? Life is next, God has and will always be, so breathe baby, breathe! Clinch your fist, keep your eyes straight ahead on the target and beat down that bogeyman whenever he shows up but don’t forget to make a list of new skills acquired and give yourself a treat because that bogeyman has never been conquered by anyone that was you!