To forgive is to put aside any negative feeling and desire for punishment by definition, but who is forgiveness for? Is it for self or for the one who is sorry?
Most people would hurriedly say it is for self without understanding. To let go of the desire to punish that person makes it clear that the one who is forgiven gains from being forgiven. The satisfaction that they will receive from knowing that they don’t have to watch out for your next move may bring peace to them but I agree, forgiveness is for self.
When we hold on to a negative feeling, we give it a place in our mind. A place that holds on to the resentment, anger and probably hurtful feeling that needs to be pacified and we visit this place at any slight opportunity we get. We keep dwelling on the hate and plotting the perfect revenge or better ways in which the whole scenario would have played out in our favour. Sometimes we only visit this place when we see the one who offended us and sometimes when we are alone and allow our mind to wander but with each visit our resentment, hurt and anger grows. Most times the one who offended us knows nothing about their offense and go on to live like they have done nothing. They meet new people and live normal lives and you may not come to mind while some may feel that they have paid their dues and owe you nothing.
To hold on to resentment is to give your peace to the one whose apology you are waiting for. It is you giving them a place in your thought and total control of it. Think of all the good things that could have occupied that place and all the beautiful things you could have imagined rather than dwelling on something sad and hurtful and giving them a total control of your mood with their presence by making yourself sensitive to every action they take.
When we forgive we gain our control back, we let go of the pain, resentment and everything negative. We gain back our peace and give our mind space to dwell on important things. We would end up proud that we took control and choose our happiness over the resentment we were not in control of.
Be in control of your mind, forgive for self and enjoy the peace that cannot be controlled by other people.